That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
