Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
