youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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