He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
