Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
