i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
