Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
