i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
