In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The best revenge is premature balding
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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