I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
