Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
