I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The power of my boobs compel you
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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