pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize