wakey wakey hands off snakey
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize