If that was your dad, he is hot
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
