What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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