Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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