everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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