The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
