The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize