how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize