Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry TroyBakerVA hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(505): View more from New Mexico

I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge

Fav 12 804 6632
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.

Fav 7 3522 1235
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"

Fav 22 5431 2012
share tweet
(812): View more from Indiana

that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level

Fav 11 4116 1093
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago

Fav 7 828 1474
share tweet
(813): View more from Florida

You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.

Fav 7 1103 1806
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(601): View more from Mississippi

You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.

(1-601): View more from Mississippi

Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?

Fav 17 2376 795
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.

Fav 0 480 349
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.

Fav 0 48 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT