I just saw a hot homeless man
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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