Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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