I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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