she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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