I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
