Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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