I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
