there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize