Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize