You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so let's talk penis.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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