She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
