I'm gonna have a badass scar
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
