So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
