so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
