The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
