And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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