She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You pole danced in your parka.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
How naked do you want me to be?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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