she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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