16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
