dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
