Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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