Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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