her vagine was all disorganized.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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