I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
