I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
