So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
