Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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