His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
