it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
