You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
