I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
zippers are such a cool invention
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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