i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize