I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
they're like a gay fantastic four
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
