so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
