Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
