the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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