? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
