Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Dignity is for republicans.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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