Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
