i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize