How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
