you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
