Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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