There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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